One in four British families could be waiting too long to discuss an older relative’s care, a new study has warned.
Research by Centra Pulse and YouGov found a quarter (24%) of Britons would only talk with an older relative about their care after they had already started suffering problems such as a fall or illness.
Nearly one in 10 (9%) said they were simply too embarrassed to discuss the subject. A fifth of those with parents who already receive care (21%) said their relatives were still too embarrassed to discuss their needs and had hidden problems from them.
Among over-65s, while 41% of those who don’t receive care said they would consider getting support once their family or GP voiced concerns, three out of five (60%) admitted they were too embarrassed to bring up the subject themselves.
Embarrassing Bodies host Dr Dawn Harper and TV presenter Ruth Langsford are backing a new campaign to raise awareness of technology that can help older people to remain living independently for longer. They are fronting new online films to share their experiences about care and encourage more open discussion about the support available.
Wendy Darling, Managing Director of Centra Pulse, says: “This shows that many people are too embarrassed to talk about care with their families. Many families could be leaving it too late to get the right help for themselves or a loved one if they wait for problems to begin before addressing the subject. It is only by starting those conversations that we can start to take away the stigma that exists and encourage more people to open up about their needs and preferences.
“That’s why we’re urging people to explore the support out there which will help them remain safe and independent for longer and ease the burden on worried relatives and carers. At Centra Pulse we’re offering new technology to help those in need to stay living independently in and out of the home.”
More than 6,000 people were surveyed by Centra Pulse including over 2,000 over-65s and more than 2,000 adults with a parent aged over 65.
Ruth Langsford said: “I’ve become more concerned about my mum’s care needs as she grows older and often feel our parent-child relationship has switched as a result. My mum is a very independent 84-year-old but I’m sure she has worried about how she would cope if she was alone and fell ill in the night. The problem is she won’t voice her concerns to either her family or her doctor. She once admitted sitting with my father all night after he had a fall until she could get help from a neighbour because she didn’t want to worry us.
“She now has a personal telecare alarm which is helping her remain at home. It has given us reassurance that she can get help quickly if needed. It did take a lot of time and effort as a family to talk to mum about her care needs and persuade her to get some more support. You can’t talk to your parents as if they’re children and I’ve had to be careful how I’ve approached the subject of her care. She still gets cross with me and tells me to stop talking to her like she’s a child.”
Dr Dawn Harper said: “I’m working with Centra Pulse to help remove the embarrassment that still exists around care. This research proves that many older people are reluctant to speak with their families or GP about their care needs and I find the same situation playing out in my surgery every day. I speak to many relatives who are worried about their parents but just don’t know how to broach the subject of care.
“It’s important that we’re all aware of the variety of help available to those who want to continue living independently so we can start to break the stigma. I always advise families to take advantage of support like telecare which involves minimal disruption to the user’s life but ensures their family has total peace of mind.”
Visit centrapulse.org.uk/difficultconversations to find out more from Ruth and Dawn.
More than 125,000 Centra Pulse customers including more than 85,000 over-65s already use telecare technology, which includes personal alarms, fall detector sensors and out of the home GPS devices, to stay living more independently.